BALLERINA TEA
By Johnny Culver
917 691 6884
CHARACTERS
Belinda – Young career girl
Lorna – Frumpy tight, middle aged woman
Miss Simon -
SETTING: The place is the dusty
finance office of a large company, located in an industrial park off the main
highway. Two old wooden desks face away from each other. File boxes line the
walls. A door leads to a private office. A small radio on Belinda‘s desk can be
heard, softly.
TIME: The time is a fall afternoon, a few years ago.
Lorna enters and sits at her desk and begins to
arrange things. Belinda, at her desk, drinks from a large mug of tea. Lorna
knocks something over to the floor.
LORNA
God damn…
(Belinda hears her voice, puts down mug, stand, straightens
her skirt, picks up notepad and goes to Lorna’s desk)
BELINDA
Not a good way to start a new job, with language like
that. Hello, you must be Linda.
LORNA
…Lorna.
(Holds out her hand and gets no reply)
And you must be…
BELINDA
(Icily)
Belinda. Welcome to Acme Finance Products. This is
your desk.
LORNA
I figured that.
BELINDA
And that-
(Points)
-is my desk.
LORNA
I drive by this building all the time, on the highway,
on my way to my last job. I never dreamed I would be working here and…
BELINDA
(Ignoring her)
This is your desk. That is my desk, and through that
door is Miss Simon’s desk. This desk used to be my desk. But I needed a plug
for my radio, so I moved to this desk, closer to the plug.
LORNA
Miss Simon?
BELINDA
Miss Simon is the head of this company. She is a very
important person.
LORNA
Oh.
BELINDA
She is always away on business. But, today, she is
here. So this is a very important day. I have very little time to train you, so
let’s get started. First of all, your hours are nine to five.
LORNA
Ok…
BELINDA
Now to the
telephone…
(points to phone)
That is the
telephone and whenever you get a telephone call for Miss Simon, you answer the
telephone “Good Day, this is Miss Simons
Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help you?
LORNA
They’re gonna hang up on me. That
takes to long to say
BELINDA
Don’t let them hang up on you, Lorna.
Find out what they want and who they would like to speak with.
LORNA
Well, I would assume that if they
called on Miss Simon’s line, they wanted to speak with Miss Simon. It’s not too
difficult-
BELINDA
Never assume, Lorna, or else they
will walk all over you, just like they walk all over me. It’s a wonder I don’t
have holes in my stockings, as much as they walk all over me.
LORNA
I don’t wear stockings under my
slacks. It is just me and the slacks, nothing in between.
BELINDA
All women must wear stockings. I buy
my stockings in quantity, so I have enough to wear every day. Miss Simon made
the rules you know.
LORNA
They didn’t mean under your slacks-
(Telephone rings)
I’ll get it...Hello, Acme
Finance-
BELINDA
(Goes for her telephone)
That could be my mother telephoning…
(Listens to Lorna)
No No…“Good Day, this is Miss Simons Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help
you?
LORNA
OK…OK…Good Day, this is Miss Simons
Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help you...I’ll check…
(Hands over receiver)
Does Miss Simon want to subscribe to Goldfish World magazine?
BELINDA
Who is that on the phone? An employment agency? That information
is...confidential. Tell them to leave us alone, Lorna,
(Yells at phone)
We will not fall for their tricks!
LORNA
(Into phone)
Sorry, wrong number. I saw a goldfish
in her office when I walked past there this morning.
BELINDA
Lorna, everything in Miss Simon’s
office is confidential. You are not permitted to go in there, even look in
there without an appointment.
LORNA
I just looked in her office, I mean,
what does she have glass on her office door for the?
BELINDA
So she can look out the glass door
and see me sitting at me sitting at my desk. It is very important that I be at
my desk at all times. Especially this morning. I’m
expecting an important telephone call.
LORNA
You’re not at your desk now.
BELINDA
(Notices she is away from her desk)
That’s because Miss Simon is in a
meeting. Today is an important day for her.
(Whispers)
Something personal, I believe. She is
very important. This is one of the few days she in is the office. She is
always away on important business. She had to be here for a meeting, I surmise.
I arrived early, to get ready.
LORNA
Is everything so important here?
BELINDA
Yes!
LORNA
Are you allowed to smoke in these
meetings?
BELINDA
Lorna, of course not! What kind of
company do you think this is?
LORNA
Then why was Miss Simon walking down
the hall with a pack of cigarettes in her hand?
(Telephone rings)
I’ll get it.
BELINDA
(Jumps for telephone)
I will get the line, Good Day, this
is Miss Simons Office, this is Lorna, and how may I help you? Oh Miss Simon, no
this is Belinda, not Lorna…I…uh…I am training her…I could use some training
myself? Of course, Miss Simon… get you a new cigarette
lighter during lunch? I am on it, Miss Simon, goodbye.
(Slams down phone)
I hope she didn’t hear me slamming
down the telephone like that; she could really fire me then.
LORNA
Where was she? At a pay phone
outside?
BELINDA
Really, Lorna, Miss Simon dies not
loiter about pay phones!
LORNA
I can go and get a lighter for you,
Belinda, when I am at lunch. I have to get one myself. I need a cigarette.
BELINDA
You really should refrain from
cigarette breaks…if you do go out, and see Miss Simon, smoke far away from her.
She does not need to see…the help…smoking outside, like thugs…
LORNA
I never…ok, what else do I need to
know to work here.
BELINDA
The most important thing to do is to
write down everything you do. That way if they blame you for making a mistake, you
have evidence that you knew what to do. Look, at this…
(Holds out notepad)
Miss Simon asked me to get her a cup
of coffee this morning, so I write it down.
((listens)
Was that my telephone? Or just the radio playing…
LORNA
That’s funny….
BELINDA
What is so funny about coffee?
LORNA
When I walked past her office this
morning, she was taking a teabag out of a paper cup and tossing it into the
trash.
BELINDA
Alright, so I brought her a cup of my
tea! Everyone makes mistakes. I was hired to be a secretary! If she wants me to
be a waitress, she should leave me a tip! And that tea I brought her is very
good tea…ballerina tea.
LORNA
Ballerina Tea?
BELINDA
I have been drinking it for years.
(Gets box from her desk and proudly hands it to Lorna)
You know, when I was a little girl, I
wanted to be a ballerina. And dance under the lights…
LORNA
(Looking at box)
“Especially ideal to those for making
an adjustment in weight…you may experience increased…movement…?” Belinda, this
is dieter’s tea! It makes you go to the-
BELINDA
(Takes box back)
It is cleansing! This tea is for
those who want to become ballerinas! It is relaxing! You have to wear many hats
here. It is not an easy job.
LORNA
At my last job I was an office
manager. I wore many hats, too. And I didn’t have to drink…ballerina tea…
BELINDA
Not hats like these! Like prison
caps! Sometimes they will work you so hard that you feel like you were in a
chain gang! Believe me, you will regret being here.
LORNA
I can handle it. I studied business at
the community college.
BELINDA
The classroom is nothing like the
real world, Lorna. Did they teach you take orders like a servant, be humiliated
in front of others, to be their…pincushion…just like today with the cigarette
lighter?
LORNA
You should say something.
BELINDA
I don’t mind. I don’t need to eat
lunch. Or have a personal life for that matter.
(To herself)
Never really did.
LORNA
Um, how long have you worked here,
Belinda?
BELINDA
Lorna, that kind of information is
confidential! Now, back to the use of the telephone.
Personal calls are not allowed, unless it is important. Although when Miss
Simon steps away from her desk, I wait for my mother to telephone…but always
disconnect if she comes back to the area!
LORNA
(Writing in her own notebook)
Miss Simon. Steps away from desk.
Disconnect.
BELINDA
When you step away from your desk,
you need to let everyone know where you are going, because they may need to
reach you with an urgent matter.
LORNA
I could leave a note on my desk so
they would know where I am.
BELINDA
That would be a waste of scratch
paper. I use the intercom, so everyone can hear...look, I will show you.
(Goes to her desk and pushes button on phone)
This is a test. Belinda is going to
the ladies room. This is only a test. Then…this is a test. Belinda is back from
the ladies room. This is only a test. See. Now you try, Lorna.
LORNA
(Mutters)
All that ballerina
tea…no wonder.
(Louder)
I really don’t think I need to…
BELINDA
Lorna, this is how things are done
around here. You must learn! And notice I turn the radio down when I use the
intercom.
LORNA
Ok Ok…
(Pushes button on phone)
Um, this is Lorna and I am...going to
the kitchen to get coffee. This is only a test.
BELINDA
Nooo! Never tell them that you are
going to the kitchen! They will want you to get something for them! Don’t be
their servant, Lorna.
(Listens)
Was that my telephone?
LORNA
…so, how long has this company been
around? I always hear about them on the radio.
BELINDA
Miss Simon’s father founded this
company, many years ago. He died in a terrible car accident, and Miss Simon
took over. Nothing has changed in all these years. Except we have this intercom
now… moving along now…Are you married Lorna?
LORNA
Huh?...What about this adding machine
here...do I use that, too?
BELINDA
It is very important to wear a ring
on the hand you would normally wear a wedding band. In the corporate
world they look at these things, you know. Not that our worth is dependent
on a man! Men, Lorna…oh could I tell you stories…Don’t trust them!
They are worthless! They are scum! They are…
LORNA
(Interrupts)
Belinda!!!
BELINDA
I'm sorry. I don’t know what got into
me…moving along now…
(Her mood flips completely)
this may be a perfect time to try to wait
for Mothers call, while Miss Simon is in her …meeting.
(Goes to her desk)
Lorna, you get settled there, I won’t
be long. She’ll be calling any minute now…
LORNA
Allright, whatever you say…
(Looks through desk)
Ewww!
(Pulls out nameplate, wipes it off and reads it)
“Belinda Simon?”
(Miss Simon appears behind Lorna’s desk. She looks like
a relaxed version of Belinda)
MISS SIMON
Hello, you must be Lorna.
LORNA
(startled)
Oh! You must be…Miss Simon!
MISS SIMON
Call me Melinda; I am so glad you
took this job, Lorna.
(They shake hands)
I hope Belinda Simon is taking good
care of you…
LORNA
Well…I think she is a bit preoccupied
this morning, with you being here and she says she is waiting for an important
telephone call.
MISS SIMON
With me being here?
LORNA
She said you were always away on
important business and it must be very important if you are here in the
office…I guess everything is important here, right?
MISS SIMON
My sister has a way of making
everything seem important.
LORNA
Your sister?
MISS SIMON
We’re twins. Although
we are as different as night and day.
LORNA
I can see that!
MISS SIMON
Ever since we were little girls, I
wanted to run a business and she wanted to be a ballerina. I think has
something to do with all that damned ballerina tea she drinks.
LORNA
(Laughs)
I agree.
MISS SIMON
I think we could get along very well,
Lorna. How would you like to work for me?
LORNA
But I already do. This is your company!
MISS SIMON
Lorna, I sold this company years ago. I have another
bigger business down the highway. Would you like to come and work there?
LORNA
But your sister…
BELINDA
(Hovering over telephone)
Could Mother have forgotten my telephone number here?
MISS SIMON
We don’t get along that well. I never
told her that I sold the company. She thinks I’m always away on business. Important business. There’s really nothing going on in this
building. Just files and old paperwork in storage.
Belinda doesn’t know that though She has been a
little off for a few years now. Poor thing, she is so alone.
LORNA
At least she has her mother…your mother to talk to.
They sound like they are very close…
MISS SIMON
Lorna, did Belinda tell you how our father died?
BELINDA
(At her desk, waiting for phone to ring)
Maybe I’ll make another cup of tea, while I wait for
Mother to call. At least I can listen to the radio while I wait.
LORNA
There was a car accident, I read…-
MISS SIMON
There were others in that car,
Lorna…our mother and Belinda. It was a slippery rainy evening in the fall. They
were headed to Belinda’s first ballerina recital. Only she survived. She was
trapped in that car for hours. Only the radio to calm her.
LORNA
You mean…and she’s waiting for her mother to call
her….oh my…
BELINDA
Such a nice tea…I wanted to be a ballerina so
much…Mother must be so busy this morning…
MISS SIMON
What do you think, Lorna?
BELINDA
She’ll call. I’ll just wait…
(Sips tea)
She knows I’m here, knows where to find me…
LORNA
I can start…now!!
(She gets her coat and leaves, stopping to say goodbye to
Belinda, but thinks better of it, then exits with Miss Simon)
BELINJDA
Mother always wanted me to be a ballerina…and dance on
the radio…
(She sips her tea and turns up the radio, as the lights
slowly fade out)
END OF PLAY