BALLERINA TEA

By Johnny Culver

917 691 6884

Johnnyculver@yahoo.com

www.pineyforkpress.com

 

CHARACTERS

Belinda – Young career girl

Lorna – Frumpy tight, middle aged woman

Miss Simon  -

 

SETTING: The place is the dusty finance office of a large company, located in an industrial park off the main highway. Two old wooden desks face away from each other. File boxes line the walls. A door leads to a private office. A small radio on Belinda‘s desk can be heard, softly.

 

TIME: The time is a fall afternoon, a few years ago.

 

Lorna enters and sits at her desk and begins to arrange things. Belinda, at her desk, drinks from a large mug of tea. Lorna knocks something over to the floor.

                                                                                        

LORNA

God damn…

(Belinda hears her voice, puts down mug, stand, straightens her skirt, picks up notepad and goes to Lorna’s desk)

 

BELINDA

Not a good way to start a new job, with language like that. Hello, you must be Linda.

 

LORNA

…Lorna.

(Holds out her hand and gets no reply)

And you must be…

 

BELINDA

(Icily)

Belinda. Welcome to Acme Finance Products. This is your desk.

 

LORNA

I figured that.

 

BELINDA

And that-

(Points)

-is my desk.

 

LORNA

I drive by this building all the time, on the highway, on my way to my last job. I never dreamed I would be working here and…

 

BELINDA

(Ignoring her)

This is your desk. That is my desk, and through that door is Miss Simon’s desk. This desk used to be my desk. But I needed a plug for my radio, so I moved to this desk, closer to the plug.

 

LORNA

Miss Simon?

 

BELINDA

Miss Simon is the head of this company. She is a very important person.

 

LORNA

Oh.

 

BELINDA

She is always away on business. But, today, she is here. So this is a very important day. I have very little time to train you, so let’s get started. First of all, your hours are nine to five.

 

LORNA

Ok…

 

BELINDA

Now to the telephone…

(points to phone)

That is the telephone and whenever you get a telephone call for Miss Simon, you answer the telephone “Good Day, this is Miss Simons Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help you?

 

LORNA

They’re gonna hang up on me. That takes to long to say

 

BELINDA

Don’t let them hang up on you, Lorna. Find out what they want and who they would like to speak with.

 

LORNA

Well, I would assume that if they called on Miss Simon’s line, they wanted to speak with Miss Simon. It’s not too difficult-

 

BELINDA

Never assume, Lorna, or else they will walk all over you, just like they walk all over me. It’s a wonder I don’t have holes in my stockings, as much as they walk all over me.

 

LORNA

I don’t wear stockings under my slacks. It is just me and the slacks, nothing in between.

 

BELINDA

All women must wear stockings. I buy my stockings in quantity, so I have enough to wear every day. Miss Simon made the rules you know.

 

LORNA

They didn’t mean under your slacks-

(Telephone rings)

 I’ll get it...Hello, Acme Finance-

 

BELINDA

(Goes for her telephone)

That could be my mother telephoning…

(Listens to Lorna)

No No…“Good Day, this is Miss Simons Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help you?

 

LORNA

OK…OK…Good Day, this is Miss Simons Office, and this is Lorna, how may I help you...I’ll check…

(Hands over receiver)

Does Miss Simon want to subscribe to Goldfish World magazine?

 

BELINDA

Who is that on the phone? An employment agency? That information is...confidential. Tell them to leave us alone, Lorna,

(Yells at phone)

We will not fall for their tricks!

 

LORNA

(Into phone)

Sorry, wrong number. I saw a goldfish in her office when I walked past there this morning.

 

BELINDA

Lorna, everything in Miss Simon’s office is confidential. You are not permitted to go in there, even look in there without an appointment.

 

LORNA

I just looked in her office, I mean, what does she have glass on her office door for the?

 

BELINDA

So she can look out the glass door and see me sitting at me sitting at my desk. It is very important that I be at my desk at all times. Especially this morning. I’m expecting an important telephone call.

 

LORNA

You’re not at your desk now.

 

BELINDA

(Notices she is away from her desk)

That’s because Miss Simon is in a meeting. Today is an important day for her. 

(Whispers)

Something personal, I believe. She is very important. This is one of the few days she in is the office.  She is always away on important business. She had to be here for a meeting, I surmise. I arrived early, to get ready.

 

LORNA

Is everything so important here?

  

 BELINDA

Yes!

 

LORNA

Are you allowed to smoke in these meetings?

 

BELINDA

Lorna, of course not! What kind of company do you think this is?

 

LORNA

Then why was Miss Simon walking down the hall with a pack of cigarettes in her hand?

(Telephone rings)

I’ll get it.

 

BELINDA

(Jumps for telephone)

I will get the line, Good Day, this is Miss Simons Office, this is Lorna, and how may I help you? Oh Miss Simon, no this is Belinda, not Lorna…I…uh…I am training her…I could use some training myself? Of course, Miss Simon… get you a new cigarette lighter during lunch? I am on it, Miss Simon, goodbye.

(Slams down phone) 

I hope she didn’t hear me slamming down the telephone like that; she could really fire me then.

 

LORNA

Where was she? At a pay phone outside?

 

BELINDA

Really, Lorna, Miss Simon dies not loiter about pay phones!

 

LORNA

I can go and get a lighter for you, Belinda, when I am at lunch. I have to get one myself. I need a cigarette.

 

BELINDA

You really should refrain from cigarette breaks…if you do go out, and see Miss Simon, smoke far away from her. She does not need to see…the help…smoking outside, like thugs…

 

LORNA

I never…ok, what else do I need to know to work here.

 

BELINDA

The most important thing to do is to write down everything you do. That way if they blame you for making a mistake, you have evidence that you knew what to do. Look, at this…

(Holds out notepad)

Miss Simon asked me to get her a cup of coffee this morning, so I write it down.

((listens)

Was that my telephone? Or just the radio playing…

 

LORNA

That’s funny….

 

BELINDA

What is so funny about coffee?

 

LORNA

When I walked past her office this morning, she was taking a teabag out of a paper cup and tossing it into the trash.

 

BELINDA

Alright, so I brought her a cup of my tea! Everyone makes mistakes. I was hired to be a secretary! If she wants me to be a waitress, she should leave me a tip! And that tea I brought her is very good tea…ballerina tea.

 

LORNA

Ballerina Tea?

 

BELINDA

I have been drinking it for years.

(Gets box from her desk and proudly hands it to Lorna)

You know, when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a ballerina. And dance under the lights…

 

LORNA

(Looking at box)

“Especially ideal to those for making an adjustment in weight…you may experience increased…movement…?” Belinda, this is dieter’s tea! It makes you go to the-

 

BELINDA

(Takes box back)

It is cleansing! This tea is for those who want to become ballerinas! It is relaxing! You have to wear many hats here. It is not an easy job.

 

LORNA

At my last job I was an office manager. I wore many hats, too. And I didn’t have to drink…ballerina tea…

 

BELINDA

Not hats like these! Like prison caps! Sometimes they will work you so hard that you feel like you were in a chain gang! Believe me, you will regret being here.

 

LORNA

I can handle it. I studied business at the community college.

 

 BELINDA

The classroom is nothing like the real world, Lorna. Did they teach you take orders like a servant, be humiliated in front of others, to be their…pincushion…just like today with the cigarette lighter?

 

LORNA

You should say something.

 

BELINDA

I don’t mind. I don’t need to eat lunch. Or have a personal life for that matter.

(To herself)

Never really did.

 

LORNA

Um, how long have you worked here, Belinda?

 

BELINDA

Lorna, that kind of information is confidential! Now, back to the use of the telephone. Personal calls are not allowed, unless it is important. Although when Miss Simon steps away from her desk, I wait for my mother to telephone…but always disconnect if she comes back to the area!

 

LORNA

(Writing in her own notebook)

Miss Simon. Steps away from desk. Disconnect.

 

BELINDA

When you step away from your desk, you need to let everyone know where you are going, because they may need to reach you with an urgent matter.

 

LORNA

I could leave a note on my desk so they would know where I am.

 

BELINDA

That would be a waste of scratch paper. I use the intercom, so everyone can hear...look, I will show you.

(Goes to her desk and pushes button on phone)

This is a test. Belinda is going to the ladies room. This is only a test. Then…this is a test. Belinda is back from the ladies room. This is only a test. See. Now you try, Lorna.

 

LORNA

(Mutters)

All that ballerina tea…no wonder.

(Louder)

I really don’t think I need to…

 

BELINDA

Lorna, this is how things are done around here. You must learn! And notice I turn the radio down when I use the intercom.

LORNA

Ok Ok

(Pushes button on phone)

Um, this is Lorna and I am...going to the kitchen to get coffee. This is only a test.

 

BELINDA

Nooo! Never tell them that you are going to the kitchen! They will want you to get something for them! Don’t be their servant, Lorna.

(Listens)

Was that my telephone?

 

LORNA

…so, how long has this company been around? I always hear about them on the radio.

 

BELINDA

Miss Simon’s father founded this company, many years ago. He died in a terrible car accident, and Miss Simon took over. Nothing has changed in all these years. Except we have this intercom now… moving along now…Are you married Lorna? 

 

LORNA

Huh?...What about this adding machine here...do I use that, too?

 

BELINDA

It is very important to wear a ring on the hand you would normally wear a wedding band.  In the corporate world they look at these things, you know.  Not that our worth is dependent on a man!  Men, Lorna…oh could I tell you stories…Don’t trust them!  They are worthless!  They are scum!  They are…

 

LORNA

(Interrupts)

Belinda!!!

 

BELINDA

I'm sorry. I don’t know what got into me…moving along now…

(Her mood flips completely)

this may be a perfect time to try to wait for Mothers call, while Miss Simon is in her …meeting.

(Goes to her desk)

Lorna, you get settled there, I won’t be long. She’ll be calling any minute now…

 

LORNA

Allright, whatever you say…

(Looks through desk)

Ewww

(Pulls out nameplate, wipes it off and reads it)

“Belinda Simon?”

(Miss Simon appears behind Lorna’s desk.  She looks like a relaxed version of Belinda)

 

MISS SIMON

Hello, you must be Lorna.

 

LORNA

(startled)

Oh! You must be…Miss Simon!

 

MISS SIMON

Call me Melinda; I am so glad you took this job, Lorna.

(They shake hands)

I hope Belinda Simon is taking good care of you…

 

LORNA

Well…I think she is a bit preoccupied this morning, with you being here and she says she is waiting for an important telephone call.

 

MISS SIMON

With me being here?

 

LORNA

She said you were always away on important business and it must be very important if you are here in the office…I guess everything is important here, right?

 

MISS SIMON

My sister has a way of making everything seem important.

 

LORNA

Your sister?

 

MISS SIMON

We’re twins. Although we are as different as night and day.

 

LORNA

I can see that!

 

MISS SIMON

Ever since we were little girls, I wanted to run a business and she wanted to be a ballerina. I think has something to do with all that damned ballerina tea she drinks.

 

LORNA

(Laughs)

I agree.

 

MISS SIMON

I think we could get along very well, Lorna. How would you like to work for me?

 

LORNA

But I already do. This is your company!

 

MISS SIMON

Lorna, I sold this company years ago. I have another bigger business down the highway. Would you like to come and work there?

 

LORNA

But your sister…

 

BELINDA

(Hovering over telephone)

Could Mother have forgotten my telephone number here?

 

MISS SIMON

We don’t get along that well. I never told her that I sold the company. She thinks I’m always away on business. Important business. There’s really nothing going on in this building. Just files and old paperwork in storage. Belinda doesn’t know that though  She has been a little off for a few years now. Poor thing, she is so alone.

 

LORNA

At least she has her mother…your mother to talk to. They sound like they are very close…

 

MISS SIMON

Lorna, did Belinda tell you how our father died?

 

BELINDA

(At her desk, waiting for phone to ring)

Maybe I’ll make another cup of tea, while I wait for Mother to call. At least I can listen to the radio while I wait.

 

LORNA

There was a car accident, I read…-

MISS SIMON

There were others in that car, Lorna…our mother and Belinda. It was a slippery rainy evening in the fall. They were headed to Belinda’s first ballerina recital. Only she survived. She was trapped in that car for hours. Only the radio to calm her.

 

LORNA

You mean…and she’s waiting for her mother to call her….oh my…

 

BELINDA

Such a nice tea…I wanted to be a ballerina so much…Mother must be so busy this morning…

 

MISS SIMON

What do you think, Lorna?

 

BELINDA

She’ll call. I’ll just wait…

(Sips tea)

She knows I’m here, knows where to find me…

 

LORNA

I can start…now!!

(She gets her coat and leaves, stopping to say goodbye to Belinda, but thinks better of it, then exits with Miss Simon)

 

BELINJDA

Mother always wanted me to be a ballerina…and dance on the radio…

 

(She sips her tea and turns up the radio, as the lights slowly fade out)

 

END OF PLAY